Just me, no recipe in this post. Just a chat between friends....
One of the questions I get asked from people is why I started this blog. The quick and easy answer is because I love to share good food. It is my love language of sorts. I love when people take a bite of something I prepared for them or shared with them and they can feel the love in each bite.
The deeper, underlying answer to that question is a bit of a story that I thought would be a great way to start out this series of "Just Me".
I started this blog a little over a year ago after going through some of the most stressful and painful time of my life. The "cliffs-note" version of that time being the loss of my father after a very brief fight with lung cancer, the loss of my husband's job only 2 weeks after my dad's death and 1 week before we were supposed to move cross-country in a job transfer.
I have heard people express the thought that when death comes because of an illness, it is easier because there can be closure. There can be time to say goodbyes. I have to state that I do not think this is true whatsoever. It is not easy to watch someone you love get weaker and struggle for life. Even though there may be time to say goodbye, it often doesn't happen...because, let's face it, how do you say goodbye? There are still things left unsaid, there are still things you wish you had done differently.
As most of you may or may not know, I am a stay at home mom to 3 kiddos. So, when the company my husband worked for shut down, it was truly SUCH a stressful time. Out of the blue, he simply received an e-mail with 3 hours notice and poof...4000+ people were out of a job. Since we were 1 week away from moving at the time his company shut down, our entire household (with the exception of a couple suitcases of clothes and some toys for the kiddos to play with) was in a moving POD, being stored in a warehouse. Fast forward 8 weeks later with a remote position for the hubs, we decided since everything was ready to go, we would still make a cross-country move, just to a different location.
Once we got to North Carolina, the enormity of the loss of my father and the aftermath that ensued started to settle in. I was in an area where we didn't know anyone, and I was in no way, shape or form in a place where I was ready to meet people. I was living under a rock. I was a zombie. After several months of unconditional love from my husband and kiddos, I started to peek out from under my rock and started this blog as a way to connect and share something in me. The safest thing for me at the time was sharing recipes. It was incredibly therapeutic for me as well as a ton of fun! I wish I could adequately express what it has done for my soul...I have met people whom I cherish dearly as friends, I have received some of the kindest, most beautiful compliments that truly made me feel like I could fly. I have received SO much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I want this blog to evolve and grow just like I am...as a person, mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. There may be some changes that are well received, and others that aren't...and that is ok with me. I am of the philosophy "take what you want and leave the rest".
Don't worry, we will still have food and fun!
If you should have any questions for me or just want to chat, feel free to drop me a line anytime. :)
Again, thank you for making this such a beautiful journey for me! XOXO
This post has been linked up at:
Tidy Mom
Simply Sweet Home
Crazy Domestic
Mommy's Kitchen
What a great post. You are a survivor! A true survivor! I cant imagine going through all that hardship at once. I think it's great your blog has helped you through it. As a new blogger myself, I have found a lot of joy in it as well.. and the best part of it, I feel, is the great people I've met along the way. Including you! I am such a big fan. Keep up the great work and keep your amazing recipes comin! : )
ReplyDeleteI truly think people make real connections with other people when they show their vulnerability. And that's what you've done. It's not easy to talk about the harder things we are experiencing or our ambivalence towards choices we've made. You've done good things with your blog and because I've talked to you on a more personal level, I know you are doing great things for yourself and your family. Hugs to you and I know whatever direction you go with for your blog - it will be perfect!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. it seems that many of us bloggers come to it at a time when there is a loss or we have a need to connest. It has helped me from under my rock too.
ReplyDeletehugs to you. I hope that you continue to heal.
Excellent post! Thank you for sharing your personal journey with us, and I look forward to more tasty recipes!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we can all connect here. I have been through some dark valleys myself and blogging has been a way to ground me. It's also comforting to read how others have made it through their tough times.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about the slow illness thing. Its not any easier...my grandma suffered with polycystic kidney fibrosis over the course of about 3 years and while you wanted to make sure you said goodbye, it just felt like if you did, then it was final. I just couldn't bring myself to do that. You always think "I'll do it later b/c today is not the day." Hope is a powerful thing, ya know but it also makes you kinda delusional. You know the reality, but you can't face it so you hope for one more day, week or month. I'm glad you've come to terms with your dad hun. When we first met, it was still kinda fresh to you and over all this time, I've seen you bloom and I'm happy for that. I lubs you!
ReplyDeleteI just lost my Mom 2 weeks ago. Thought I was prepared for it. I wasn't. I feel for you. Now I know what it's like to be nobodys child. I love your website. If we all hang in there together we'll get thru it together.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your honest and vulnerable post. I love your humor and your upbeat energy from most of your posts, but I also really appreciate the deeper connection you offer by sharing the tougher times in your life as well.
ReplyDeleteMy mother died several years ago as well. The grieving came in stages, as first we had to move her into an assisted living home, then hospice care, then finally her death. And in terms of closure...
My brother taught a university ethics class where they were discussing the death penalty, and almost all the students said they were in favor of the death penalty for murderers because it gave the victim's family "closure." So he asked them to write about what that meant. The family felt better? The family didn't miss their dead loved one any more? What?
The students couldn't do it. They had no idea what this idea of closure meant. It is a nice concept, but real life is much more complicated. People die, and you always miss them; and yet, in another way, they are always with you.
I think your blog is full of love and joy, and you have probably touched more people than you will ever know. I don't know if you have seen it, but I wrote a bit about how you have helped our family in my blog post: http://teachingyourmiddleschooler.blogspot.com/2011/02/lesson-plan-presidential-palate-or.html .
And I know there are hundreds or even thousands of other people that benefitted from your blog as well. So thanks for all the work you put into your blog. I look forward to reading each one of your posts, even though I haven't commented on them much.
I can definitely understand how writing a food blog can help you through tough times. It is a welcome distraction. And I have met some of my dearest friends through blogging. It really changed my life. I am glad you enjoy doing it as much as I did!
ReplyDeleteYou are one tough cookie!
just you is soooooooooooooooo awesome
ReplyDeleteYOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR THEBEST COOK EVER